Even in a world where 19% of America's population is considered disabled/special needs... the label... special needs... triggers thoughts of a child forever unable to enjoy any quality of life. Parents forever bound to caring for their dependent child... unable to enjoy parenthood.
And a situation where... "taking care" of the problem before it becomes a problem... is acceptable.
Why? Because not many people can deal a baby being born, not perfect.
How will it change my life? How will it change the lives of my other children?
It's.not.fair.
Newsflash, life is not fair.
Just because life isn't fair... doesn't mean it doesn't have all the possibility in the world to become amazing.
It takes a much bigger, stronger, selfless person to step up to plate, surrender all the plans, hopes, dreams and ideas of a child... they weren't given.
Do you grieve the "loss" of the baby who you thought was perfect and healthy?
Yes, you do. And it hurts.
Do you open your heart to a baby whose needs are so strong and the ability to live is even stronger... are you empowered, amazed, in awe of something so more "perfect" than you could have ever dreamed of? Yes. And your life...outlook on life...will.never.be.the.same.
I am a mother of a special needs child.
Seraphina was born with laryngomalacia, tracheomalacia, GERD, LVH of the heart, s2 heart murmur, central and obstructive apnea and front left lobe epilepsy.
When Seraphina was finally diagnosed with epilepsy... I sat in the hospital cafeteria ... sobbing while trying to eat a hot meal.
I said to my husband, "I can't believe we have a child with epilepsy.
I can't believe this is happening to us."
His reply, "But we do, Steph. "
He was right. We do.
So now what? Does it change my love for her? No.
Will it forever change are ability as a family, to enjoy life? No.
Will Lilli be forever scarred for having a sister with special needs? Probably not.
As I finished my panini ... and wiped my face, I thought...
Okay... we will be fine.
Almost 20 months into having a child with special needs... we are just that. Fine.
Secretly, do I sometimes wish... it was different. Of course. I am human. Can I picture my life without Seraphina..exactly.how.she.is. absolutely not.
She has opened our eyes...and hearts... to a whole new world of living.
Really living.
We don't plan weeks in advance. We plan in hours.
We live in the moment. We enjoy every moment.
And every time Seraphina is unstably balancing on top of the couch yelling...
"look it! look it, Mommy!"
I think... yup, life is good.
another special needs mother, honestly writes about her journey with DS.
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