Looking Back: But She Looks Fine!

We all look fine, don't we? No one can see the baggage we carry... the tears we are hiding...the pain we are feeling. We are all just fine.

Since the day I started telling people about my baby's diagnosis... "but she looks fine!" became my least favorite phrase of all time. I tried to justify the inappropriate comment by thinking maybe this is their way of coping. If someone looks fine...then nothing can be wrong, right? And yet those words still cut me like a razor. What bothers me the most is that all the anger, sadness and fear I feel on a daily basis is somehow not validated when that phrase is said. That maybe since she looks fine, I should be fine too.
I know the people who say that phrase are not doing it to make me feel that way. They are simply coping the best and maybe the only way they know how. No family member, close friend or parent wants to hear that their baby has a congenital defect... But sometimes in life you can not pretend. Sure, I would love to pretend my baby is fine...but I very well know I can not. I do however, have faith that in time she will be fine and until that day ... rather than hearing..."but she looks fine!"... a hug would be much more appreciated :)